Responsibility & Karma

I’ve been looking at two important principles in my life: Personal Responsibility and Karma…this is from a letter written to a friend who was dealing with a disappointment. Like most things, I think I needed to hear it as much as he did.

I live in a world that stands in the following principle:
“Responsibility starts with saying you are cause in the matter.  Responsibility is not burden, blame, credit, shame or guilt.  In responsibility, there is no evaluation of good or bad, right or wrong.  There is simply what’s so, and your stand. 
 
Being responsible starts with the willingness to deal with a situation from the point of view that you are the generator of what you do, what you have and what you are.  That is not the truth.  It is a place to stand.
 
No one can make you responsible, nor can you impose responsibility on another.  It is a grace you give yourself – and empowering context that leaves you with a say in the matter of life.”-LEC
 
I didn’t invent this concept and it took me a long while to really get the difference between ‘the truth’ and ‘a place to stand’. Ultimately it has me realize that the only journey I can be accountable for is my own and for my own experience I have when I encounter others in their journey. I have been struggling with this notion and the principle of karma- i think i’m close to reconciling the two approaches. What I realize that they have in common is a sensibility about accepting what life brings- all the good, the pain, the joy, the fear, etc… and as long as I don’t use karma or responsibility as a way to justify my victim-hood or to measure others by I have freedom. As long as I keep my heart open to the flood of love that is available and work to have my default position be one of compassion (for myself and others) my capacity to deal with the disappointments is increased. Now do I get angry and hurt and shitty and mean and awful? You bet.  I’m actually masterful at passive-aggression, but now I know when it’s happening and I can choose….and be responsible for it. Not as a way to score my self, but to keep me present.
 
So what the heck does this have to do with you? Well, I get your anger and hurt from the unfulfilled expectations you had from what your studies and dedicated practice were to bring. It sounds like you were promised something that didn’t happen- for that there should be an apology- maybe it will come, maybe it won’t. In either case are you willing to be responsible for your journey, for what you said yes to even if it didn’t pan out. One of the best bits of coaching I ever got was a definition of resentment, resentment is like swallowing poison and waiting for the other person to die- who suffers?
 

love the dharma…not the box it comes in

i totally understand why someone would retreat to a cave in a mountain for their enlightenment. i used to believe that ‘what’s the point of understanding the dharma if you’re not living it out loud in your own life?’….i’m officially over that point of view.

wanted: one small cave with indoor plumbing, view of the water, wireless and netflix required. sub-let will work as i’m unclear how long i can really last without sushi and the cute boy i made out with in boston last weekend.

urban zen girl has left the zendo…please send incense and chant the heart sutra for her…she’s lost her way. i know this crisis of faith will pass. it probably isn’t even about faith. i think it’s more about feeling like a fool…so in my best wisdom-esque language let it be said:

‘i’ve been such a fool…’